GotPassion?

The Colour of Sunshine.

From a recent trip to the New Covent Garden Flower Market. Vauxhall.

Day 11: Smile {When They're Happy and You're Not}

The hot weather has arrived here in London. For how long, I am not quite sure but it is so great to see so many people out and about and enjoying it.

In fact, not being a particular fan of hot weather - I find it easier to smile at the pleasure of others enjoying the sun, rather than enjoy it for myself.

Life is like that though isn't it? It is full of ups and downs, sometimes it is our turn to smile and sometimes it is the turn of others. I believe that to be an an important lesson though. Let me as you this, when things are bad for you and good for your friends, do you find it easier to smile or to be jealous?

Think about the man whose friend has just landed the job of their dreams, on the same day he was fired. Or the woman who has 5 wedding invites in as many months, but she remains single. Or what about the couple whose friends joyously announced their 3rd pregnancy, whilst they remain childless (not for want of trying).

These are just a few challenging times that people face.

I personally have previously found it hard to appreciate the happiness of others whilst things aren't going well for me, my conversations with God revolving around the statement of 'It's not fair!'.
With experience and age, I have come to realise that things do eventually look up. I consider myself fortunate that I got my truly difficult days over and done with when I was a teenager. In those days whilst having an eating disorder and depression, I lived by the motto "What doesn't kill you makes you stronger". Maybe I would have been more fortunate to not experience those days at all, but then I am not sure I would be me today. I like to think they have had a positive impact on my character, it has made me a better person. If it was possible to change what was past, I wouldn't change those experiences. The reason I say I was fortunate, is when you hit rock bottom, things can only look up. Even when I have problems now, I never consider any of them to be worse than having had depression as a teenager. It makes most problems solvable. Of course there is still the drama queen in me who overreacts to the smallest things but even then, deep down - I know it could be worse. Each day I know how much better my life is now. And that is the thought that makes me smile today.

If you are in a place today where things seem hopeless, be assured, things can get better. If you don’t give up, don’t lose hope - they will get better. And if you are lucky enough to be in a place where things have never been better, enjoy it, but don’t take it for granted.

Either way, how little or big, find a reason to smile. Even if it is only at someone else’s happiness - because yours is on its way.

 

Day 10. Forgiving, It Just Isn't Cool.

The hardest thing about blogging about forgiveness, or even talking about it; is that it just isn't cool. It isn't cool at all.

Lets say someone hurt you badly, and you are so angry with them. Let us say you find it hard to forgive them the wrong (possibly evil) that was done to you. Now lets say you can't forgive them. It is likely when you chat to your friends, they will say, "it's okay, its understandable to not to forgive", it hardly inspires you to change your behaviour. Your advice was socially acceptable.

Like teens all sporting the latest fashion, we want to be like our friends and so keep similar views. We tell ourselves because it is understandable not to forgive, it makes it okay. 

It is not okay. It is not okay at all. Understandable but not okay.

In order to move on from our own mistakes we have to be forgiven, and in order to be forgiven by others we need to be able to forgive others. 

Respect others as you would want to be respected.

Forgiving may not be cool in a cookie cutter boyband (Take That) kind of way, but I think it is cool in a Lady Gaga kind of way. Slightly different, a little bit uncomfortable, but once you first listen to her music, it is strangely addictive and actually makes you think.

You may not agree with me. In fact I suspect some won't. But ask yourself, why is it you don't agree? Because it takes you out of your comfort zone, it scares you? Now ask yourself, how would the world be different if we wrecklessly forgave everyone. Even those who didn't deserve it. I am not asking you to forget, to release prisoners from jail. Just to accept a situation in your heart and wish the best to the perpertrator and refusing to allow the thought of them to negatively impact your life.

My advice today; wrecklessly forgive. Especially to those who don't deserve it.

Day 9. Love or Not to Love.

One thing I have taken from this blogging project and have previously mentioned is how much it is about choice. It is worth mentioning again. 

Love is a choice.

To love or not to love, it is a choice.

I am always impressed with my married friends who do date nights, they actively schedule time in the diary to spend with their other halves. They are not letting it just happen, they are not waiting for the magic to appear, they are saying I am making a choice to spend time on this person. They are choosing to love them.

In all relationships though, Love is a choice. Someone annoys me, I can ignore them or I can love them. Someone offends me, I can shout at them, I can love them.

It is in our nature to be defensive, to protect ourselves. It is accepted by the world. Why leave it to chance though?

One occasion I made the choice to love was in secondary school. One year, I think maybe the second, a new girl joined. Her name was Rina. And boy was I jealous, because she got on so well with one of my close friends. Rina just made me miserable and she had no idea. One day, I realised Rina was here to stay and I thought to myself 'I ought to just like her and be nice', so I did and found to my amazement. She was actually really nice. By making that choice initially it became easy to love her easy going nature.

Rina and I are no longer in touch although I am still friends with the original girl. But I'll always remember that experience, such a clear example of what happens when you make a choice rather than leave your feelings in control, and I am grateful to Rina for (albeit unwittingly) giving me that lesson.

Day 8. Smile! - It's What Makes you Beautiful.

Blogging on my lunch break, and thinking about smiling is a good way to spend a few minutes.

Yesterday brought many opportunities for smiling, it is always easy to smile when you have people like Vivian around.... I see a lot of Vivian and she is always full of smiles and conversation, even if only for a couple of minutes. This photo is actually from this morning and as you can see, more smiles!

Vivian is the great example of why you should smile, because it is what makes you beautiful!

Day 7. Forgiving, and Being Forgiven.

Occasionally these days occur when I forget to blog, actually real life gets in the way, and that is okay.

So here I am at 11pm thinking about how to relate yesterday to loving, smiling or forgiving. 11pm is my bedtime, the magical time that I can go to bed and be assured I won't wake up again (if it had been any earlier) and not feel tired in the morning (if it had been any later). 

When I think about yesterday I think I could actually relate it to all three. I loved, smiled and forgave. Well not so much forgave but enjoyed the day so much more because I have forgiven, and because (more importantly I think) I have been forgiven.

There are 2 wonderfully titled books out there in the Christian world, one called 'Everybody is Normal (til you get to know them), and 'What is so Amazing About Grace.' Both the books look at how people basically suck (my interpretation). People will hurt us. They will anger us. But in order to live life to the full, we need to look beyond that.

Yesterday I got to hang with my friends. In fact, one friend called me at 1:50pm and asked if I wanted to go to see a photography exhibition. It was an incredible gift. This friend and I have had our ups and downs and if either of us had left it on the downs, if we had thought at any point, 'that person sucks and this person is just not worth my time'. I would never have got that phone call at 1:50pm, I would never have got to go and see the Sony Photography Exhibition with her. I would never have got to receive such a beautiful gift, and that, would have been a huge shame. Grace is her seeing me, knowing I that I can be rubbish and calling me anyway. Thank you beautiful lady!

 

Day 6: Smile. Even When No One Can See.

One of the joys/trials of being single is the occasional day you managed not to see anyone else. One of these came for me yesterday. I'd planned a photoshoot but my friend was not feeling so well and postponed, I was delighted to stay in my PJ's a little longer. 

Come mid-afternoon, I was feeling fairly bored and not seeing any potential to smile. I mean who is going to see anyway? It came though, my external hard drive which broke two weeks ago, resurrected itself and allowed me to continue copy files off it, and then I was tidying, I found a cheque.

Believe me when I say I smiled. And I may have even cheered, just a little.

And when there is a smile on your face, it can sink down and help you appreciate the situation you may find yourself in.

Day 5. Love in a Card

There were two opportunities to love before Friday was even half over.

Well I say 2, in actual fact there were probably more which I didn't quite notice. But the 2 I noticed definitely counted for something.

First the birthday card. Anyone who has received a card from me knows I am not that type to write "Dear SoandSo, Happy Birthday, Love Evie". No, if I am going to send a card, the person is going to get a card in style. The purpose of a card is to show someone that you care about them right, that they matter.

Reminding them they matter, that is what I try and keep in mind when writing a card. So apart from the usual happy birthday message, I also aim to add anything I am thankful to them for, what I appreciate about their character and to bless not only their birthday-day but the whole year ahead. So for a birthday girl I know, I got to write a card. A card which will not only uplift her (hopefully) but reminds me what a great person she is and helps me appreciate her more, a win-win situation. 

The second situation to practice my loving was babysitting a 4 month old baby. Anyone who has looked after a baby knows they don't have a lot to give but require a lot to be give, and everyone knows the hardest time to love is when you don't feel like you are receiving a lot in return. The thing is, if you look after a baby - you will find they do have a lot to offer... Smiles, giggles, eyes that respond to your voice, your expressions. Trust. As long as you just give them love.

Day 4. The Smile is a Little Harder...

Some days are so much harder to smile.

On those days sometimes it is all you can do to get your heart to smile, never mind your face as well.

Especially when you are tired, and sore and you walk 30 minutes out of your way to give something to someone and they turn out not to be there. You know you should have text them and checked. But still it is a little harder to smile. Smiling is still necessary. Smile evem as you know someone is upset and they won't share why, smile when the shop keeper is grumpy. Smile. You might just lighten their heart. That would be worth the smile, wouldn't it? Smile, even though you know it is only thursday and you still have friday. Smile even as you see the challenges the next day will bring. Smiling in the face of a challenge is worth a 100 of the good weather smiles.

By the time you read this though, it will be friday and the weekend will be a little bit closer. And knowing that now, gives me more reason to hold on, and be happy.

The weekend brings with it a photoshoot, and that is always a reason to smile.

Waiting for Coffee.

It is as though this table is just waiting for a couple to sit down and soak in the atmosphere of London over a cup of coffee...